How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

By: Misty Buck, Athlete Mental Health Coach and Contributor to HOFH

 Being afraid of failing is highly common. If you’ve ever pushed yourself beyond your limits, set a lofty goal, or tried something new, you’ve probably experienced this feeling. The reality is that it’s normal to feel anxious in the face of the unknown. Even so, if you let your fears hold you back, you could miss out on opportunities for growth and learning.

 A fear of failing can keep you from pursuing goals, pushing yourself to perform, or learning new skill sets. You might even limit yourself with a mindset of if you don’t try, you can’t fail. While it may feel safe to minimize the risk of failure, more often than not, when you hold yourself back, you’re still uncomfortable. You have a choice of which discomfort you’d rather live with–the discomfort of limiting yourself or the discomfort of trying. The only certainty is that as the old saying goes, you’ll never know unless you try. To that point, there are several mindset shifts and actions that you can try to help you overcome your fear of failure so that you can pursue greater success.

Understand Why You Are Afraid Of Failure.

There are many different reasons why someone might fear failure, and all of them are personal. For example, maybe you failed before and it wasn’t a good experience because someone said something that hurt you or you lost something as a result. In the present, you may be under tremendous pressure to succeed and are worried that if you miss the mark, the consequences could be disastrous. Try to pinpoint the reason you’re afraid of failing. Once you do, take some time to reflect on it. Then, tell yourself a new story. For example, acknowledge that every time you fail or make mistake you learn something, which you can use to help improve yourself. Also, remind yourself that even the G.O.A.T.S. have failed numerous times so you’re actually in good company.

Realize That Your Failures Aren’t Your Identity.

“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” - Zig Ziglar

When you fail at something, it’s common to label that misstep as a reflection of who you are. However, failure isn’t a “who,” it’s a “what.” It isn’t living and breathing; it’s one and done. Just as Zig Ziglar famously coined the phrase, “failure is an event,” in looking at your past failures, retell yourself the story as if it were an event, something that happened, but not who you are. It may have caused you uncomfortable feelings, but just like failure is temporary, so are your emotions. In looking to the future, how can you use this perspective to ease some of the stress around failing?

Shift Your Focus To The Benefits Of Failure.

Failure can be beneficial! The key is that you have to be willing to learn from it so you can find the next best solution.

Someone once questioned Thomas Edison about all of his failed attempts to invent the lightbulb. His reply? “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

Edison was mindful of his language and his perception by choosing a growth mindset way of approaching the failed attempts. Try bringing this into your own life by focusing not on the fact that it didn’t work, but that there must be another solution. Be willing to study each failure and reflect on what went right, and what went wrong with the goal of looking at it as objectively as possible. Then, make adjustments to improve.

Find News Ways To Manage Your Fears.

If you’re afraid of failing, then you’re probably not going to try very hard. And if you’re not trying hard enough, you most likely won’t succeed. Instead, find ways to manage your fears so that you can maximize your effort. In addition to mindset shifts, try talking to someone who has succeeded before, reading books about overcoming fear, using affirmations for confidence, or a beginning mindfulness practice of being in the moment when things feel hard (rather than disconnecting with the present by worrying about the past or future).

Be Aware of Your Self Talk.

We are more likely to have negative thoughts than positive ones. The National Science Foundation published a research study in 2005 that found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and roughly 80% of them are negative. Naturally then, another important factor in overcoming a fear of failure is to be aware of your self-talk and your thoughts so that you don’t get stuck in a negative thinking pattern. Try extending yourself some grace and using positive language to focus on building confidence in yourself so that you can put your best effort forward, even when you’re scared or you make mistakes.

Move Forward One Step At A Time.

 There will be times when you feel like giving up. That’s okay! It happens to everyone. Just keep reminding yourself that you’re doing your best one step at a time and that’s all you can do. Even if you fail, you’re making progress. You’re learning new things and you’re getting closer to where you want to go.

Is a fear of failing interfering with your daily life? Contact the Hall of Fame Health (HOFH) concierge call line at (866) 404-HOFH to find out more about treatment centers, health services, and providers. The service line is open to athletes and non-athletes. Scholarship funds may be available on a case-by-case basis through Fund Recovery. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or require emergency assistance, please call the HOFH Crisis Line at 866-901-1245, call 911, or head to your nearest local emergency room.

Misty Buck is an athlete mental health and mindset coach and contributor to Hall of Fame Health. She can be reached at https://purposesoulathletics.com.